First of all, we truly hope you’re not actually home alone for the holidays. But we know some of you are, so please know that we care. Perhaps you’ve even chosen solitude as a form of healing on your recovery journey.
We know that holidays, as wonderful as they are, can be a real trigger for those who battle temptation and are trying to live a porn-free life. So, we’ve created a list of options or “ways of escape” that are healthier than the alternatives of isolation and boredom.
Avoid being home alone (if possible)
Staying away from porn can be harder if you’re home alone for the holidays or just plain home alone for too long. Compulsive porn use and loneliness often go hand in hand. Overcoming loneliness often takes time and patience.
Perhaps right now you’re in the process of rebuilding friendships or creating new ones. We hope that trying a few of these ideas may boost your spirits and creativity on your journey even during the challenging holiday season.
10 ways to avoid temptation if you’re home alone for the holidays
So – now it’s time to make a plan for how to spend your alone time.
If thinking of ideas isn’t your strong point, well, no worries! We’ve created a list for you. Have fun and feel free to add your own twist to any of these ideas.
1. Design a flexible but consistent daily routine that includes rest, exercise, healthy food, and a daily positive reward for yourself. (Routine helps when you’re struggling with depression or anxiety.)
2. Focus on fitness. Maybe it’s time to mix things up a bit. Turn up your favorite workout playlist and break a sweat. Exercise is not only great for the body but also a fantastic mood booster. Pump those endorphins!
3. Enjoy nature in winter time. Take a cave tour. Investigate local hiking trails. Whatever it is — just get outside and be active.
4. Plan an epic adventure. Want to hunt in Alaska or surf in California? Dream big! Make a list of friends who might enjoy joining you. Or, find an online group that specializes in the adventure you’d like to take. Be sure to write down your plan and the steps it would take to accomplish it.
5. Become a subject matter expert on a new topic that intrigues you.
Growing your mind may help you add to your friend list down the road, too. Take a look at these options, for starters:
- https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/
- https://www.udemy.com/
- Ascend – our scientifically motivational online porn recovery course
6. Tackle a DIY project you’ve been putting off. Building shelves? Painting a room? Or putting new brakes on your car? Hint: If you buy the supplies, you’re one step closer to actually doing the project.
7. Plan a virtual hangout. Thanks to technology, you’re never truly alone. Plan a virtual hangout with friends or family. Play online games, have a video call, or just catch up on life. Laughter is the best medicine, and your friends are the prescription!
8. Channel your inner “Master Chef”. Or maybe you’re a fan of “Chopped”? Challenge yourself to create a new dish. Then invite a willing taste-tester over for dinner.
9. Give of yourself. Short on money, but have some extra time? Helping others is a big mood-booster. Check out local non-profits such as food delivery to the elderly, homeless shelters, pet shelters, or youth services. Most places appreciate extra volunteers around the holiday season.
10. Graphically design your new years’ goals. Maybe it’s time to ditch resolutions and set goals instead. You can use an online board like Trello. Throw up ideas, inspiration, and reflect on your dreams.
Then jot down small action steps framed in a positive way, so you can take towards any one of your goals. Can you guess why many people don’t achieve their goals? Check this out!
Each positive step forward helps to rewire your mind.
We’re not making light of being home alone for the holidays. Unfortunately, we’ve heard too many people say they feel unworthy of freedom from porn and a new life. In this mindset, it’s easy to stay stuck in a hard and dark place.
“One of the most difficult parts of dealing
with anxious or depressive moods
is our tendency to ruminate,
letting the same negative thoughts
keep spinning around in our brains.
Getting rid of the negative thoughts
by doing something fun
can help to break this cycle.”
~ Barton Goldsmith, PhD, Psychology Today
To sum it up, taking even one positive action step forward – like imagining good things or setting goals – has the potential to create momentum.
After all, the first battle we all face is inside our own minds. Maybe you would rather compile and take action with your own list instead! We’d love that, too.
You are worthy of connection and community.
Remember, you are a person of worth and value.
No matter how many regrets you hold for your past, tomorrow is a new day. Let yourself imagine a life filled with friendship and laughter. In fact, one of your goals could be to add a new friend in the coming year, or to reach out regularly for help in a support group or accountability partnership.
Is your faith vital to you? Find safe people in a faith community who will support your goals of a porn-free life. Online support groups are one legitimate place to find such help and support.
Do you have regularly scheduled times to talk to a friend or an accountability partner? If not, what is holding you back? The Ever Accountable community frequently tells us that asking for help turned into one of their most positive experiences – better than they could have imagined.
Embrace your unique journey. Even if you’re home alone this holiday season, there’s good reason to hope you won’t alone be next year. Just keep taking the next positive step forward, and don’t give up. Also, we would be happy to send you an encouraging note. Just reach out to support@everaccountable.com. You’ll be glad you did!
