What (often) happens when a child gets introduced to porn?
Read Riley’s story.
“Fifteen years later, here I am, someone who has struggled with pornography usage since 5th grade.”
How A Middle School Boy Got Introduced to Porn
Back in fifth grade I used to have this huge crush. I remember several times at recess, I used to walk around the fence and try to muster up the courage to talk to her.
One day, my friend ran up to her and told her that I liked her, and I got really embarrassed and decided to run away. Later at recess, the same friend came up to me and scrutinized my cowardice.
Then he proceeded to tell me about pornography.
Fifteen years later, here I am, someone who has struggled with pornography usage since 5th grade.
Significant Ways Pornography Addiction Harmed Me for 15 Years
Pornography has robbed me of so much time and taken relationships from me over the past fifteen years.
- It has robbed me of countless hours of sleep.
- It has robbed me of joy.
- It has robbed me of a deep relationship with Christ.
How porn affected my relationships to women
Porn addiction has kept me tucked away, in the dark, alone.
I’ve lost fifteen years of not being able to connect with women as sisters in Christ but instead viewing them as something like a commodity.
Every time I tried to get into a relationship it failed, because I wasn’t fully pursuing a partner to grow the kingdom with.
I couldn’t even look a woman in the eyes and have a conversation with them.
10 Steps To Quit Porn That Are Transforming My Life
But fifteen years later, I decided I wanted to make a radical change.
I decided I wanted to get serious with God, and stop treating women like they are foreign objects.
No more half doing it.
No more “Woe is me, I will never get over this”.
No more excuses.
1. Get real about porn recovery.
When I decided to make the change, I knew it had to be a radical one. Like it says in Scripture, “If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.”
Now while I’m not talking about me actually cutting off my hand, I am talking about getting rid of things I said I never would get rid of.
2. My “hack-and-slash method: Get rid of anything that’s holding you back.
So, I started the hack and slash method. Is the TV a problem? Gone.
Is my phone an issue? Screen-time and accountability software, activated!
Is my computer getting me into trouble? You also get accountability software!
3. Plug up your weak spots.
Here’s the thing though, just like a nice worn boat, you will find holes, but you must plug them or you will sink right back down.
Plug that hole like Phil Swift and slap a nice piece of flex tape over it!
4. Tell supportive people you need help.
But you can’t do it alone. You need people in your corner.
Do you want to know who the first people were that I told? My family.
Then I told my friends.
Then I told my men’s group.
Then I told anyone who said they struggled with it.
5. Understand porn addiction thrives on secrecy.
Because – you know what? Pornography addiction thrives in secrecy. I wanted my community to rally around me and hold me accountable.
There’s no excuse when most everyone knows.
It became really easy to tell people.
Then it became easier to ask God for forgiveness when I messed up.
My opening up even helped those who haven’t confessed before to confess that they struggled. What a beautiful thing when sin is forced to cower in the light at the throne of Jesus.
6. Recognize that messing up is part of full recovery.
Realize this though. Recovery isn’t perfect. But you know who is? Jesus. Plain and simple.
You will mess up on your road to full recovery.
7. Keep your eyes fixed on your relationship with God.
But keep your eyes fixated on the cross. I keep one right in front of me by my computer to remind me of what the Lord did for me, a sinner desperately in need of saving. Prioritize that relationship above all.
8. Focus on healing from porn addiction for love – for your current or future spouse.
Secondarily, do you want to get married (or are you currently married)?
For me that answer is a giant Yes.
So, remind yourself, I am doing this for my future or present spouse so we can have a strong marriage and a strong, healthy family.
Divorce rates are already bad enough in society, and we especially don’t want to add to the pile as Christians.
Focus on those two things, and I promise it can drown out the noise of temptation better than anything.
9. Use “backstops” like a porn accountability app to help you stop pushing the envelope.
Sometimes however, we need backstops. What’s a backstop, you say? Ever Accountable!
No seriously, having this app has made my life better when I know I am weak. Guys, Ever Accountable works really, really well. Better than the competition (I’m looking at you, Covenant Eyes).
Features I Love About Ever Accountable:
- There are a few things I like the best: keyboard monitoring,
screenshots, and the help/report buttons. - It covers all my bases, and allows me to ask for help quickly when I need it.
- I also love that I don’t know how the software works, and I can’t see my screenshots.
Let’s be honest, how many of us have tried to push the envelope, because we can see when it goes too far? I’m guilty of that.
But you know what keeps that envelope close to your side of the table? Ever Accountable!
10. Enlist a dedicated accountability partner to help you succeed in quitting porn.
Remember though, you need to tackle all of this with a good accountability partner. Otherwise, success is harder to obtain.
Be thoughtful and prayerful in your accountability partner selection. Make sure it’s someone you are close to that you know will be there to help you when you fall.
After you set yourself up for success, pursue success!
My Road To Recovery Now: Benefits of Quitting Porn
Life really is better when you go on the road to recovery from porn.
My mind feels less clouded.
I can engage with women as sisters in Christ, not as something other than.
I also benefit from better sleep, more free time, more joy, stronger relationships, and the list goes on.
It truly is possible to get over this stuff.
You will mess up here and there, but it’s not a three steps back, one step forward motion. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
Just remain focused.
Focus on the Lord. Focus on your future (or current) spouse. Focus on friendships. Go touch grass every day.
Pray hourly, and when you mess up, run to the cross, not away. You got this! Stay strong.
Fellow brother in Christ,
Riley
Thank you, Riley, for sharing your porn recovery journey to help others. Porn-fighting warriors like you make a huge difference.
No two stories of porn recovery are exactly alike. Have you been finding freedom from porn? Would you like to share?
We will treat your story with honor and share it respectfully.
Email us at marketing@everaccountable.com.
